Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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