I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
