pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
