Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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