I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
