Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
