girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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