Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
