Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
