I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
