im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
