Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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