ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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