my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
