EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
