these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
