is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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