He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
