Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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