brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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