we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
