i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
