first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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