Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
