I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
