I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love having hate sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
