I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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