He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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