from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
