I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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