you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
