Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
