I smell stomach acid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
soo... how was my night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
