I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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