I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
