I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
