his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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