k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
