I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
