Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
