Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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