He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
