smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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