So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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