weddingsv make me drug and hornr
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
