Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
