He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
