He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
