Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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