I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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